My life is a series of unfinished projects. Friends and family joke about my dozens of “things in the making.” Shelves to make, rooms to paint, dinners to prep and freeze, ceilings to scrape, and even little finishes like a board to put up here and there or a dish washer to secure. There was a time not that long ago that I had a dozen unfinished works going on at the same time. And a dozen half-written blogs to match. Through the playful semi-serious joking and my own thought-processes, I realized by trying to complete everything, I completed nothing. Slowly, focus was given to one project at a time and before too long, beautiful accent shelves replaced rough wood crates, walls were painted a perfect cool grey, paintings hung, and the dreams of a cozy home began to take form.
It makes me think about God’s work in me. He has beautiful plans for me, perfectly-timed projects, but I rush them. He is patient and content to work on me little by little: stepping out in faith here and saying no to gossip there, a month learning to give him an area of my life followed by a time of worship. I, however, get frustrated by my lack of perfection. I see so many things I fail at in this Christian life and am discouraged that I’m not “there” yet. While focusing to perfect everything, I miss the little works in me that equal the big things.
I’m learning to let him lead me on the things he is seeking to teach me in the moment. This season of life is about being content where I am and embracing fellowship once more. It’s about being intentional in my walk with him and keeping focus on my Savior while letting go of my own plans for my life and lots and lots of forgiveness. There are many other sections of my soul to cultivate beauty from, but for now, I am going to enjoy the cozy home God is creating there. It’s not a neat flower garden. There aren’t perfectly-aligned tulips and daisies. He’s growing wildflowers to match my wild, untamed self. Beautiful chaos. Raw and fierce and in his own time.
Perhaps you’re in the same boat. Stay in there, friend. Don’t doubt your worth or your progress. If you’re needing prayer, please send me a message. I would love to pray with you and for you.